Preparing Your Child for Testing: Reducing Anxiety and Ensuring Valid Results
You've scheduled a psychoeducational evaluation for your child, and now you're wondering how to prepare them for the experience. Maybe your child is anxious about the word "test," or you're worried they won't show what they're truly capable of. Perhaps you're unsure whether to mention the testing at all or how much detail to share. These concerns are completely understandable, and how you prepare your child can significantly impact both their experience and the validity of the results.
The goal of preparation isn't to help your child "perform better" in the traditional sense. We're not looking for practiced or rehearsed responses. Instead, thoughtful preparation helps your child feel comfortable enough to engage authentically with the assessment activities, reducing anxiety that might otherwise interfere with showing their true abilities. When children feel safe and understand what's happening, the results are more accurate and useful.
Why Preparation Matters
Preparation serves several important purposes. You can reduce your child's fear of the unknown by giving them age-appropriate information about what will happen. Framing the experience in a way that makes sense to them helps them understand that the testing process is meant to help them, not to judge or label them. Allowing them to ask questions and express concerns before the day of testing opens up conversations. And perhaps most importantly, it conveys your confidence that this is a safe, positive experience.
Different children need different types and amounts of preparation. Some children do best with minimal information, preferring not to think too much about it in advance. Others need a detailed explanation to feel secure. Some become anxious if you mention testing too far in advance, while others benefit from having time to adjust to the idea. Knowing your child's temperament and how they typically respond to new situations will guide how you approach preparation.
Avoiding Common Preparation Mistakes
Before discussing what to do, it's important to understand what not to do, as many well-meaning parents inadvertently create problems through their approach to preparation.
Never Have Your Child Practice Test Questions
Some parents find examples of cognitive tests online and have their children practice, thinking this will help them do better. This type of preparation actually invalidates the results since standardized tests work by comparing your child's performance to that of other children their age who encountered the material for the first time.
Don't Frame Testing as Something to "Pass"
Unlike school tests, psychological assessments aren't about getting answers right or wrong. They're designed to understand how your child thinks, learns, and processes information, with some tasks intentionally too difficult and others meant to be easy.
Avoid Sharing Your Own Anxiety
Children are remarkably attuned to parental emotions, so if you're worried, anxious, or treating the evaluation as a big, scary event, your child will pick up on this regardless of what you say. Talk to your evaluator about your concerns and questions, so that you can feel calmer and more comfortable about the process.
Don't Bribe or Create Elaborate Reward Systems
This creates performance pressure and suggests that the testing is something unpleasant that they need to be compensated for enduring. A small, low-key acknowledgment afterward is fine, but avoid making it contingent on performance.
Don't Over-Prepare with Too Much Information
While your intentions are good, too much detailed explanation about learning differences, brain science, and why the testing is necessary can overwhelm children and increase anxiety.
By avoiding these common mistakes, you'll create a more relaxed atmosphere that allows your child to approach testing with less anxiety and more openness to the experience.
Age-Appropriate Preparation Strategies
How you prepare your child should match their developmental level and ability to understand.
For preschool and early elementary children (ages 3-7), keep explanations very simple and concrete. You might say something like: "You're going to do some activities with a nice person named (your clinician) who works with kids. You'll do things like puzzles, answer questions, look at pictures, and play with blocks. They want to learn about how you think and solve problems." Avoid using the word "test" if it has negative connotations for your child. Instead, talk about "activities," "puzzles," or "questions." If they ask whether they need to get things "right," reassure them that some things will be easy and some will be harder, and that's exactly what's supposed to happen.
For older elementary children (ages 8-11), you can provide slightly more context while still keeping it straightforward. You might explain: "You're going to meet with a psychologist, which is a person who helps kids learn about how their brain works. You'll do different activities, like solving puzzles, reading, answering questions, and talking about your feelings and experiences. Some activities might be easy for you, and some might be harder. The psychologist is trying to understand what kinds of things your brain is really good at and what kinds of things are more challenging. This helps us understand the best ways to help you learn and do well in school." At this age, children can often understand that people's brains work in different ways and that the testing helps identify their unique pattern of strengths and challenges.
For middle and high school students (ages 12 and up), you can be more direct and involve them more in the purpose of the evaluation. They're often aware that they're struggling with certain things or that learning feels harder for them than for their peers. You might say: "We're having you do an evaluation to better understand your learning style. The psychologist will give you different activities that measure things like how you process information, solve problems, remember things, and handle academic tasks. This isn't like a school test where you're supposed to get everything right. Some things are designed to be too hard, which helps them understand where you might need extra support. The goal is to figure out exactly what you need to be successful and feel better about school." For teens who are resistant or embarrassed about being evaluated, emphasize that this is about getting help, not about labeling or judging them.
Practical Steps for the Day Before and Day of Testing
Beyond the initial conversation about what testing involves, there are several practical steps you can take to set your child up for success on the actual days surrounding the evaluation.
1. Ensure Adequate Sleep the Night Before
This is genuinely one of the most important things you can do, as a child who is sleep-deprived will perform worse on nearly every aspect of testing and the results won't accurately reflect their abilities.
2. Provide a Nutritious Breakfast or Lunch
Children need fuel to sustain attention and effort through several hours of testing, so include protein and complex carbohydrates while avoiding excessive sugar that might cause energy crashes.
3. Dress Your Child Comfortably
Choose clothing appropriate for the weather and for sitting at a table for extended periods, avoiding new clothes that might be uncomfortable or anything that will be distracting.
4. Arrive on Time But Not Excessively Early
Getting there too early means your child sits in an unfamiliar waiting room getting increasingly nervous, so plan to arrive about 5-10 minutes before the scheduled time.
5. Bring Necessary Items But Keep It Simple
Most psychologists will let you know if your child needs anything specific, like glasses or hearing aids, and a water bottle is often appreciated since the psychologist will offer breaks for drinks and bathroom visits.
These practical preparations create the best conditions for your child to engage authentically with the testing activities and demonstrate their true capabilities.
What to Say (and Not Say) Right Before Testing
Your demeanor and words right before you leave your child with the psychologist can significantly impact their experience. Keep it calm, positive, and brief. You might say something like: "I'll be right here in the waiting room. Have fun with the activities, and I'll see you soon!" This communicates that you're nearby, that the experience should be pleasant, and that you're not worried.
Avoid last-minute instructions like "Remember to try your best!" or "Focus and pay attention!" These create pressure and anxiety. Trust that your child will naturally engage with the activities to the best of their ability. Don't quiz them on whether they remember what testing is for or what they're supposed to do. The psychologist will explain everything they need to know in the moment.
If your child seems nervous, acknowledge it briefly and reassuringly: "I know it's a little bit nervous feeling to meet someone new, but this person is really nice and has worked with lots of kids. You're going to do great." Then move on rather than dwelling on their anxiety. Sometimes a hug or a gentle touch on the shoulder conveys confidence and care more effectively than words.
For most children, keeping the goodbye brief is best. A quick, confident farewell signals that this is a normal, safe situation. Prolonged goodbyes or repeated reassurances can inadvertently communicate that there's something to worry about.
Moving Forward with Confidence
Preparing your child for testing is about finding the balance between providing enough information to reduce anxiety and not creating pressure where none existed. When children approach testing with curiosity rather than anxiety, the results provide valuable insights that can guide support strategies and help your child thrive. If you're considering an evaluation and have questions about preparing your child, parent guidance consultations can help you think through your child's specific needs. At Mind Matters, we're committed to making the experience as positive and valuable as possible for every family.
At Mind Matters, we believe every child deserves to be understood. If you have questions about your child's learning, attention, or development, we're here to help. Contact our Client Care Coordinator at 415-598-8378 or info@sfmindmatters.com to learn more about how we can support your family's journey.
